The Fambam Takes on Florida Day 5
The day started out early for Pam and I as we had to attend the slick sales presentation for a timeshare. I knew right away that we were in for a delightful treat when our sales guy named Tom told us all about how great he was at closing two-thirds of his deals and how he was the company's number 8 man nationwide.
I had a big old Texas size grin knowing that I was going to watch Pam systematically take this guys aggressive high-pressure sales approach down. Tom already believed he had two suckers on the line waiting to sell us a condo with the discounted interest rate of 15% since we were such a lovely couple. What Paul did not realize was that besides being Supreme Ruler of the Fambam, Pam also played the role of Head Negotiator for her many times of wearing car salespeople down and even sometimes bringing them to their knees with a few tears.
Tom threw us every tactic he had up his sleeve with Pam coming back in a rebuttal that left Tom defenseless and confused looking. Like a lion about to eat his prey, he swooped in one more final time for the kill only to realize he had met he match and walked away in defeat. Pam understood the routine, and she knew Tom went to lick his wounds and call in the big guns for a shot at the title. Another guy named Chuck sat down and offered Pam a free all expense hotel anywhere she "desired" to travel. Chuck knew he had my beloved cornered like so many others in the past. Without blinking, Pam looked Chuck in the eye and said: "I don't like it when strings are attached!" Chuck was caught off guard and didn't know what to say. Pam stood up, and we were on our way to pick up the girls and head to Clearwater Beach as the timeshare company stayed to figure out what happened!
The drive from Orlando to Clearwater is close to two hours. The girls were quiet most of the way after adding a considerable amount of steps to their Fitbits from the amusement parks. Pam asked the girls about Disney, and they both seemed to love it and would return. This made us feel good about the decision to go at a time we had to deal with long lines, and not getting to see everything they wanted.
We pulled into Clearwater Beach, and all of us were relieved and excited to see the ocean. Pam made the pitch to me when we were planning the vacation to spend the extra couple bucks and get a hotel on the beach. The Hampton Inn Clearwater did not disappoint as we were treated like royalty the moment we walked in. Julie took good care of us checking in while the manager took Pam and the girls for a tour of the terrace that overlooked the ocean.
We went into our room and heard a knock on the door. A lovely lady named, Sadie took us to a much larger upgraded room with a fantastic balcony view of the ocean. The girls were excited about their living conditions for the next few days. I have been a Diamond member for a while and have been treated very well by Hilton in the past. But the Hampton Inn Clearwater Beach went above and beyond our wildest dreams for a great stay!
The Hampton Inn has a private beach equipped with a bar in case you find yourself thirsty. We got on our swimming attire to sink our toes into the whitest, softest sand I have ever felt on my precious tender feet. The girls ran into the ocean, and I ran to the bar for some much deserved and needed adult beverages.
With beer in hand, we watched the girls enjoy the water and bury each other in the sand.
They even got Pam to agree to the idea.
We laid around and did nothing for several hours other than relax. With the sun setting, the tide rising and the wind getting cooler it was time to take some showers and find some local seafood on the island.
We decided that we did not have an agenda as we walked down the beach and looked at the various menus and stores. The great thing about Clearwater Beach is that there is almost no chain restaurants or retail shops on the island. Most of them are locally owned.
We settled on a place called Crabby's for their wide selection of food as they seated us on the roof overlooking the ocean. They had space heaters all over the place to keep us warm as we enjoyed reminiscing about our trip.
The hardest decision we had to make on the day was what to choose from all the great menu options. Little D went for the traditional alfredo pasta. Pam and I split our meal that consisted of fish-n-chips, fried shrimp, and crab cakes and I also partook on a cup of clam chowder. AK went rogue and tried something new for a change. She landed on the idea of eating crab legs for her first time.
The fish-n-chips were terrific, and the clam chowder was the best I have ever had including my trips to Boston and San Fransico. Pam loved the shrimp, and Little D got the award for quote of the day when she said: "the alfredo sauce tastes liked the jarred kind." I told her I was sorry and she could order something else if she would prefer. She had a confused look on her face and returned with "That's my favorite kind!"
Pam and I were not sure how the crab leg experience was going to go for AK. She cracked into her first leg and took the delectable piece of meat for a swim in the butter before putting it in her mouth for pure satisfaction. AK fell in love with the crab legs and spent the next hour trying to hone her craft on breaking into them for the glorious tasting meat.
Nikki was our server and was spot on with her suggestions and taking good care of us during our visit. We gave Crabby's a collective five eaten crab legs on a five-point scale for its incredible food, great ambiance, and pleasant staff. Well played Crabby's, well played! If you find yourself wondering the island of Clearwater and have a hankering for some of the best seafood, you can eat, stop by Crabby's and ask for Nikki. You won't be disappointed.
We walked back to the hotel and laid down to rest for another day of beach time and island exploration.
The Fambam Travel Tips of the Day:
-Do spend the extra dough for a hotel on the beach when visiting Clearwater Beach (not only will your family appreciate you more, but you will not have to fight the crowds at the public beach).
-Do take the time to explore the island of Clearwater Beach (the locals are very kind, and it is nice knowing that you are not spending your money on corporate giants).
The Fambam Takes on Florida Day 4
The day started out early for Pam and I as we mapped out a plan for the last day of experiencing the magical world of Disney with the rest of the free world. We realized the night before that to maximize our fun, we were going to have to let the girls catch up on some much-needed teenager sleep.
With Pam becoming a Disney App expert, she was able to secure Fast Passes for "The Haunted Mansion," "Buzz Lightyear" and "Splash Mountain."
We woke up our girls and took them to Chick-fil-A to fuel them up on nuggets and save money before we hit the park. As we drove off, I realized we would be cutting it close to make the first Fast Pass of the day. Pam declared she would make the ultimate parent sacrifice and dropped us off at the entrance to park the car, so the girls and I could make the ride. As Pam secured her Coolest Parent of the Year award by taking one for the team. I had to assume the role of Supreme Leader of the Fambam and navigate the long lines of the monorail and park entrance.
I looked at my watch as precious minutes passed by and the threat of missing our first Fast Pass of the day looming. The crowd was large, and I knew the only hope of rides for the day would be through the Fast Pass system. The girls looked worried, and I had to think of something quickly to access the ride on time and preserve their faith in me being the Temporary Adult in Charge.
Matters worsened as we entered the park and saw they were getting ready for the Disney Parade. There was no room to move as they were shutting off access to where we needed to go. Sadness overtook the magic off the girl's faces, and I knew I was the only hope they had left.
I quickly put forth our Conga Line tactic from the evening before and let Little D go ninja-style, as she led us through, under, and over people by all means necessary. We may-or-may-not have gone through a few roped off areas and ignored the threats of Disney jail by Disney personnel, but we made it with two minutes to spare.
Once we got off, we fought our way back through the crowd of people to find Pam and reunite the Fambam. We wondered over to ride "Buzz Lightyear" with only suffering a few banged shins from strollers full of pissed off little kids who would have preferred to be walking rather than riding.
Tomorow Land was so full of people they literally had Disney staff trying to keep people moving on paths safely. Pam knew her tribe was tired of the crowds and found a small area where we could sit and relax. She bought AK a smoothy and Little D a churro that Rigo had highly recommended. They enjoyed their snack as I watched Little D make quick work of her sugary snack in hopes of a small taste.
It was soon time to drive the race cars, and I was in the same vehicle as Little D. Pam loaded with AK and we were off. Little D proved to be a crazy woman driver as I found this ride scarier than any other I had experienced
Pam and I barely survived the race with girls behind the wheel and decided to take a moment to capture our relief in a picture.
We still had a two-hour wait until our next Fast Pass, and all the lines were showing a wait time of at least an hour and a half. I had not relinquished my interim title of Supreme Leader of the Fambam and made the call to explore 'Tom Sawyers Island". My theory was it would provide some refuge from the masses and allow some ability to move freely about. My choice proved worthy as Little D was in her element. She ran all around the island going in-and-out of the caves and running up and down the hills with a smile on her face. We hung out on the island and relaxed as we waited for our Fast Pass to ride "Splash Mountian."
I personally thought Splash Mountain was one of the best rides we hit at Disney. Perhaps I would have felt differently had we been able to go on more than just a few.
Pam knew the girls had lost their magic from the Magical Kingdom, so she took back her rightful title as the Supreme Ruler of the Fambam and announced that we were leaving Disney and heading to the Golden Corral. The girls and I lit up like a Christmas tree with the idea. Little D couldn't contain her excitement as she jumped up in the air and screamed in delight as a full-on buffet is her most favorite place on earth.
We showed up at the Golden Corral and charted our plan of attack for getting our monies worth and then some. Little D was pleased to find out that she was young enough to receive the kid's price but assured me that she would eat enough as Cousin Garrett does sitting down for a Thanksgiving feast!
I set Little D loose as she piled her plate high of fried okra, mac-n-cheese, and brisket. Pam was lost in all the possibilities to take, and AK loaded up with her favorites delicacies. Little D was two plates into her meal as Pam sat down with her first.
The empty plates piled up as I could no longer see Pam or Little D from their side of the table. The manager started to walk by frequently with a concerned look on her face. We didn't care, we survived Disney, and we were going to enjoy our first real Fambam meal that did not consist of goldfish from my backpack or overpriced carnival food.
Pam was the first to tap out and got back on the Disney App to see what Fast Passes might be available. The girls loved Epcot. It was not nearly as crowded as the other parks had been. Pam's Candy Crush thumbs came through again as she found us several good rides to hit at the girls favorite park in Disney.
Epcot was beautiful at night as we rode several attractions right off the bat. The girls wanted to walk around the countries one more time. We enjoyed strolling at our own leisure without anyone touching, tripping or just getting in our way. For the first time in three days, I felt free and able to move around.
It was soon time for the Desparrois Fambam to call it a night and get some rest as we had to check out and head to Clearwater Beach the next day for some rest and relaxation. The girls waved goodbye to Mickey, and we left the park exhausted from all the fun, rides, attractions, fireworks, and walking the last three days provided!
We enjoyed Disney World and loved that we were able to take the girls to see it. It had been a dream of Pam's since AK first came into our lives. If you haven't been, I suggest you take the time to plan a trip. The parks are all beautiful, the employees treat you like royalty, and it is remarkably clean.
The Fambam Travel Tips of the Day:
-Do rent a car when going to Disney World (You will save money on going off-site to eat, and you will need a break from the crowds).
-Do consider going at a time of year when the crowds are less intense (Your kids will get more out of the park, and you will receive more points in the quest to be Coolest Parent of the Year).
-Don't take your kids if they are too young (The little kids looked miserable, and their parents seemed even more miserable).
The Fambam Takes on Florida Day 3
The day started out getting the girls to rise from their slumber and prepare for another day of what Dinsey describes as magical. The plan for today was two parks. The first being Hollywood Studios for me and Little D to get our Star Wars on and then the Animal Kingdom.
I have been looking forward to Hollywood Studios since Pam came up with the idea of coming to Disney four years ago. Rigo has tickled my fancy with tales of the Star Wars attractions and seeing Darth Vader in real life. I was over my "It's Tough to be a Bug" pity party drama from the night before. After all, I was about to meet and greet my favorite Wookie, Chewbacca!
As we walked in with the rest of the entire population of Florida, Pam's quick Candy Crush thumbs went to work on the Disney App and discovered the Tower of Terror only had a 20-minute wait. We have been told by many Disney goers that this was a must ride so we headed that way. The line seemed to be moving quickly as our excitement grew. We soon realized that the closer we got the line would backtrack and go off in another direction. Twenty minutes soon turned into an hour as AK was growing fidgety as she learned that Walt forgot to put restrooms in the lines of his attractions. After an hour-and-half of waiting patiently, we went on the attraction for our thirty seconds of fun.
The long wait left very little time left for Hollywood Studios to be explored properly. Pam decided she needed to go into a few stores and I opted to watch the Darth Vader show at the entrance and run through the park to see all it would have to offer on my next trip to Disney in another 43 years.
I met up with the rest of the fambam to load back up in the car and go to the Animal Kingdom. Pam knew the girls were getting hungry so, She ordered some BBQ sandwiches from The Flame Tree Barbeque restaurant at the Animal Kingdom to eat upon our arrival.
When traveling with Pam, she is always two steps ahead of everyone continually reviewing any and all possibilities to make the vacation more enjoyable. With her uncanny ability of preparation, she told AK to go and get napkins and condiments. She directed me and Little D to find a table to sit at, and she would pick up and pay for the food. After Pam's play calling, we broke the huddle and set out on out tasks. The table area was packed, and our attempt to get a table looked futile until Little D used her Ninja skills to scope out a table and get to before anyone else could.
The table was a mess from the party before. A Disney employee came over to clean it up. We were the only ones at the table and I asked Little D to go help out Pam and let her know where we would be dining. I talked with the staff member for a few minutes while sitting at the table. Once he was done a man from a foreign country approached me at the table holding trays with his family behind him looking slightly upset that I was sitting down. He told me I had to move because his family was hungry and ready to eat. At this point I saw two options, go to full-blown fisticuffs and risk being put in Disney jail or firmly stand my ground and refuse to move. Luckily my new Disney friend walked over and let the man know I had been there waiting for my family.
After our meal, we bumped, got pushed and slowly shuffled our way through the park as we hit up the rapid river ride and a roller coaster for fast passes. Both were great but not worthy of the long lines to get on.
We continued on and watched the magic take over as people were starting to become hostile and angry with each other. At one point a lady was screaming that she was just trying to get through a walking path as she pushed people to the side with her robust figure. Pam pointed out that everyone was trying to do the same, but apparently, the rules of walking on a path did not apply to her.
Pam dipped into her magical bag of tricks and gave the girls money to find some food and sit down and relax. She then escorted me to the car to help retrieve our sweatshirts for the evening. Pam once again proved why she is Supreme Ruler of the Fambam as the girls were revved back up for more Disney fun, and I desperately needed some space to be away from people for a little while.
We met back up and did the African Safari. I am sure it would have been cool to see, but it was night, and I quickly grew tired of the guide saying things such as, "Look, in those bushes, behind that huge rock, a rhino might be sleeping."
We got off the ride, and Pam knew she needed to come up with another magical plan as we were tired and desperate looking. She put her Candy Crush fit thumbs into action and found us another Fast Pass at the Magical Kingdom. The best part was we could see the fireworks over the castle before the ride.
The Magical Kingdom had, even more, people than the Animal Kingdom. We let Little D navigate the way through all the people since she is small and nimble. We initiated a knew fambam move called the Conga Line as we all held on to each other's shirts while D found a spot to view all the glory.
The fireworks did not disappoint and we were all satisfied to ride the "Small World" attraction. While we rode, Pam was able to secure another Fast Pass on "Pirates of the Carribean". Once there, it was decided that Captain Jack Sparrow would be the last of the Disney Magic for the night as we had early morning passes, and the girls were tired from their day of jockeying through the masses.
We went back to the condo and made a frozen pizza. AK crashed the second we walked in the door only to rise from her slumber thirty minutes later to eat some pizza. Little D put her new found treasure Eeyore to bed while Pam and I found ourselves planning Day 4 where it was determined that the early morning Fast Passes would be replanned so the girls could sleep in and we could regroup for our last day of Disney Magical fun!
The Fambam Travel Tips of the Day:
-Do use the My Disney Experience App for Fast Passes and ordering food (It makes life easier and easier is a code word for magic at Disney).
-Bring a water bottle and fill them up with the water fountains in the parks (not only will this save you some serious money, the water tastes great and is always cold).
The Fambam Takes on Florida Day 2
Christmas morning started out early with me getting up and heading to the hotel Starbucks to get a candy bar cup of coffee for the wife and smoothies for the girls. After all, the end of the year is coming quickly upon us, and I needed to get some extra bonus points in the battle to win the Coolest Parent of the Year Award. This has not been easy, as Pam has taken home the trophy for the last six years.
We exchanged gifts, wolfed down some breakfast and soon found our selves in a full sea of strollers, kids, Mickey Mouse ears and parents hoping to accomplish the same thing Pam did four years ago when she struck gold with her idea!
We navigated our way through security to find our first Fast Pass experience of the day called Living the Land. I determined that it was educational enough that it would count as homeschool credit and AK could drop out of school if she would like. She declined, and we were off to our next adventure of Finding Nemo.
It's no secret that AK loved Nemo when she was little. Her face lit up with glee is we loaded our clamshell and rode the adventure with Bruce the Shark. Although we enjoyed the ride, the aquarium we explored after the ride was spectacular, and one I would put up with any I have visited before.
After two rides we still had one more Fast Pass to use. Pam noticed Little D getting hungry and offered up a Mickey Mouse Pretzel to stave off her pre-teen hunger. With Little D satisfied with her food consumption, we traveled the many countries Epcot had to offer up.
Little D loved visiting each country, and I was on a quest for a new beer to try. While Pam and AK found themselves watching a mime, Little D and I explored her favorite place on earth, Italy. Little D dreams of the day she can leave behind the fambam and become a full-time Italian. I soon settled on a beer from Italy as the price was not too outrageous only to discover that I had a shot-sized glass. After chewing my way through several bites of my beer, we found the other half of the Fambam and went on to train for space exploration at Spaceship Earth.
To no one's surprise in the Fambam, Pam took on the role as ship Commander. AK was the Engineer because they are not in charge of much. I was assigned the task of navigator because I was the only male in the crew and Little D was the Pilot which proved to be disastrous in trying to land us. Little D did get us safely to the ground, but let's just say NASA will not be calling anytime soon.
With Fast Pass number 3 down, Pam was able to get on her Disney App and find us some new fun in the Animal Kingdom. Pam's quick thumbs from playing years of Candy Crush proved to be advantageous with the Disney App as she scored us a ride on It's Tough to be a Bug.
We loaded up the car in search of bugs. We arrived at the Animal Kingdom to find it very dark and hard to navigate with the lack of lights and thousands of people we had to swim through. As always, Pam took charge and led us to the Tree of Life where the show on bugs would take place.
I was slightly excited to see "It's Tough to be a Bug" because cousin Maggie had highly recommended the show, and it starred my boy Flick! With the Fast Pass, we found ourselves first in line, which should mean we would have any pick of seats in the house like proper theater etiquette allows. After all, I do live by Ricky Bobby's mantra of "If you're not first, you're last!" Apparently, Talladega Nights is not a Disney Movie because they do not share in Ricky's sentiments.
The doors to the theater opened, and we were told to go all the way to the end of the aisle and not stop in the middle. I had little concern at this point, but the usher was telling everyone it is a 4-D movie and there were no bad seats in the house.
This proved to be a lie as big as Mickey's ears. Once the movie started everything was blurry from being at the end of the aisle, and I felt very little of the physical effects. Like an angry kid who just got hosed out of his favorite baseball card, I let the usher know I was not pleased with the so-called "no bad seat" talk. She merely smiled at me and got on the microphone and gave the directions on how to exit the theater.
Pam soon sprang into action and realized that I was suffering from too much Disney excitement and hangry Mike was coming out. She grabbed my hand and loaded us up into the car. I continued to whine and complain until I found us in the parking lot of Giordano's Pizza. Pam knew she could stuff my face with pizza from the land of Chicago to bring my blood sugar level back to normal and welcome her third child back to her brood.
With the votes tallied on the day, AK brought home the gold for Toughest in the Fambam as she was sick and achy all day and never complained once. Little D received the honors of the Happiest Child as she loved EPCOT and all it offered. To know one's surprise I won the award of Grumpiest Kid for my late day meltdown, and Pam went way ahead in her quest for the Coolest Parent of the Year Award standings as she had to calm her third child down after a disaster failed ride.
We chowed down on our grub and discussed the fun from Day 2 and mapped out the plan for day 3 as the Fambam heads to Hollywood Studios and back to the Animal Kingdom for a possible redemption at the Tree of Life for the Bug Attraction!
Day One:
The day started out at the early hour of 4:30 am in Midland, Texas. It has become a tradition to walk the dogs before we go out of town as it helps ease Pam's guilt of leaving her four fuzzy friends behind as the rest of the fambam sets out for fun and adventure in a faraway land called Florida.
Pam came up with the idea of going to Disney for Christmas break four years back. With the day upon us, we loaded up the girls and headed to the airport to set out and see why Rigo calls it the most magical place on earth.
We blew through security at the Midland airport and found Dallas Love virtually dead for Christmas travel. Pam was delighted to see the line to Dickeys BBQ empty as she ran to the counter to order her favorite breakfast of brisket and egg tacos smothered in spicy bbq sauce. I followed suit while the girls opted for much healthier options of wraps and fruit.
Pam and I laughed at the girls as they have much to learn about the difference of healthy eating when you are at home and indulging in the finner junk foods when you are on vacation. Pam gave her usual 4.8 slices of brisket out of five for Dickey's while the girls came in at 2.4 for their choice of living longer lives free from heart disease.
It was soon time to line up for our flight to Orlando. Pam and I checked us in the day before, and AK got A60 while Pam, Little D and myself got B1, B2 & B3. The thing about Southwest is they allow family boarding in between the A group and B group. Usually, this is not a big deal, but going to Orlando means everyone under the sun with kids gets on before the B group. AK secured a spot for her and one other person. Pam being one to think quick on her feet told Little D she would be babysitting AK in the back of the plane while we found a couple of seats further up.
Once again I beamed with pride as Pam gave us two luxurious hours of complete kid freedom and let the row in between us create a child-free buffer! Southwest says they don't have a first-class option. But I beg to differ; you just have to travel with Pam.
It turns out that most of the free world came up with the same idea Pam had four years ago to visit the land of Mickey. The Orlando airport was mobbed with kids crying and stressed out parents making threats of Santa not showing up if they did not straighten up. We grabbed our bags, got the rental car and were at our hotel in no time. As usual, our Hilton property did not disappoint with excellent accommodations and a large apartment for the stay.
Pam decided that we would run to the store to get some groceries while the girls stayed behind. It turns out that grocery store shopping on Christmas Eve in Orlando is as bad as of an idea as it is in Midland, Texas.
After wishing the good folks at the store a merry Christmas with a few elbows into our ribs, some banged shins from too many carts in the aisle and lots of colorful language being thrown around by people in the holiday spirit. We bagged our essentials items and headed back to the hotel to get ready for Christmas Eve Mass.
With Pam being a traditionalist we headed to midnight Mass except it was 8:00 at night. I have very few roles when it comes to travel as Pam is the supreme ruler of the fambam and makes all the critical decisions for a good reason. She did however, ask me to find a church close to our accommodations. Like most technical hip people, I googled Catholic churches. Several came up, and I opted for the one called St.Nicholas Catholic church since it was Christmas it felt like the place to be.
Upon our arrival, something seemed a tad different from what we are used to seeing for Mass. When church started, AK turned to me and with a strange look and asked if we were at a Catholic Church. I replied yes, as technically we were. It just happened to be a Byzantine Catholic Church rather than a Roman Catholic Church. The two are somewhat different in their rituals of the Mass as we soon discovered.
Needless to say, we had quite the experience but still enjoyed the Mass. After church, we kept another tradition alive as we arrived at Waffle House for our late night Christmas eve meal. We feasted on the usual dinner delicacies and enjoyed the time together as we mapped out the plan for Day 2 as the fambam takes on Epcot!
