Mike's Day Off

Friday's adventure started off with getting the girls ready for school quickly so we could head out for our normal Friday routine of getting doughnuts. After making sure my girls ate a hearty and nutritious meal of fried sugar delights for breakfast, I dropped them off for school. I had taken the day off with the idea that I would take Pam's car to Sears to get her some new brake pads, and I could go home and get the lawn done and looking good for the first day of spring. I knew from the start that I was going to run into some issues. It was cold and wet outside with a weather report of showers to come.

My plan was to take the car to Sears, which is at the mall and walk home. We live very close to the mall so it seemed to be the perfect plan. I was the first in line which is always a plus. After dropping off the car, I started to walk home and the sky opened up with a wicked thunderstorm coming down on me. I picked up my pace from walk to a quick sprint. I was soaking wet and cold by the time I got home. It was nothing that forty minutes in the hot tub all by myself couldn't cure!

As I soaked in luxury all by myself, I came up with the brilliant idea of taking a nap. It's not often that I am home all by myself and have nothing but peace and quiet. So I decided to take a little siesta! I woke up from my two hour slumber to find that I missed several phone calls and a bunch of texts. Some were from work, a couple were from Pam, and one was from Sears telling me that Pam's car was ready.

I called Pam to let her know. Being the smart person that she is, Pam was way ahead of me and decided to come home for lunch in case the car was ready despite me avoiding her calls and texts during my moment of peace and tranquility. Pam told me that she would be outside in a few minutes. She already came up with the plan to go to the mall, grab a bite to eat and we could get the car during her lunch hour.

This meant that I was going to have to go inside the mall. How I loathe having to walk into the mall and be amongst the mall people of the world!  I actually loathe just having to go to the mall, and I avoid it at all costs unless absolutely necessary. When I do find myself being forced to go, I get in and out as quickly as possibly.

Interestingly enough there was a time when I liked going to the mall. Not so much to shop, but it was a great place to hangout! Back in my junior high days me and my buddy Brett would spend endless hours and quarters playing Tecmo Bowl with the dreams of getting the high score and being able to put our names on the leader board. We worked endlessly on our game plan to eliminate the number one spot of the high score board that went by the name of Ken. There was nothing like going and eating some mall food after a hard days work at the arcade. Where else could a kid get a delicious slice of pizza from Cozzoli's and wash it down with and Orange Julius? When I was a kid I loved to play some video games and eat mall food. 

The malls were safer back then. At least, to me they seemed that way. No real big problems other than the few punk kids who would spend there money on cigarettes and stand outside and smoke. Today the mall seems dirty and outdated. It's a place that I really don't find myself wanting to be!

My trip to the mall Friday reassured me that it is a thing of the past for me. We had a slice of over priced pizza. After we ate, Pam suggested that we take a couple of laps around the mall. Normally I would balk about walking the mall. Since it was cold and rainy outside, I agreed. 

While we were walking the mall we heard some yelling and could see some commotion taking place at one of the smaller stores. It looked like the police were trying to handcuff a young woman who decided that she did not want to go quietly. It quickly turned into a very loud confrontation with the city's finest doing everything that could to try to calm the woman down and not make a scene. The police were very calm, cool and collected while the woman screamed that she "bought these in Lubbock!" Being the quick witted person that I am, and catching on to things quicker than most, I suggested to Pam that perhaps this was a shop lifting case! Pam nodded in agreement and asked if we might walk a touch closer to get a better look.

As we got closer the woman kept asking the police if they "knew" who she was, and that they would be "sorry when they found out!" Now this brought up an important question to mind. Did she really believe that her loud yelling about 'who she was' would actually make the police stop with the arrest?

Since the threat of who she was didn't stop the police from protecting society, she than made the scary claim that she would "sue and they would be sorry!" Apparently the police were not scared of being sorry in the future, because they continued with walking her down the mall towards the outside.

The woman in custody then made a claim that she for sure thought would get her out of her predicament. She claimed that she was a "highly intelligent person, with several high degrees" and that they "needed to let her go!" Wow, I was impressed with this thought. She must be assuming that a degree allows you to shoplift without any regard to the law. Maybe it was the the fact that she was wearing a hat that said "reckless", with baggy sweat pants, colorful socks pulled up to her knees with a pair of slides on her feet; or maybe it was that her claim of holding "several high degrees" did not allow a free pardon. Whatever it was, the police decided that she needed to go with them.

After the ordeal at the mall Pam suggested I go back to work with her and take care of the texts I got earlier. I agreed and spent a little time working on my day off. We were soon on our way home and decided to pick the girls up from school so they would not have to wait in the rain. 

 Later that evening, Delaney had soccer practice, AK was at a friend's house and Pam was going out with her "Book Club" or as I call it "Wine Club". Interestingly enough, they seem to do a lot of stuff other than read books. While everyone was away I decided to check out the claims from the apprehended woman earlier at the mall. Now it is important to point out that I am not a high intelligent person; however, I do hold three degrees. I went to look at my degrees to see if it was, in fact, true that if you held one then you were free to steal. 

After a long day of rain, getting the car fixed, seeing a crime take place, going to work on my day off, and having Pam coming home from "Book Club" with a piece of artwork that she painted.  I feel that it is my civic duty to report that after careful review of all three of my degrees, that in no way, shape or form does it state anywhere that I am free to steal. After all the claims, it appears that Pam and I witnessed an unintelligent person, wearing a hat that said 'reckless', without any degrees, commit a crime that she was going to have to pay society back for. And you still ask yourself, why does Mike hate the mall so much?

Family One day Adventure to Abilene

The morning started off earlier than most over spring break. With the change in time, we have become quite accustomed to sleeping in. Pam wanted to hit the road early so we can maximize our stay in Abilene. We had been planning to go to Abilene over spring break for several weeks. Pam's grandpa, BobBob lives their with his wife BJ. This trip turned a touch more urgent when we found out that he entered the hospital the day before. BobBob has had a rough year of hospital visits, and Pam felt that nothing would cheer him up more than a friendly visit from his family!

On early morning trips, we are accustomed to making a pit stop to feed the girls before we venture out. When our girls get hungry, they get grumpy, and when they get grumpy they can turn mean in the back seat and threaten a coop! Pam made the call to NOT feed the young-lings and risk a hostile takeover from the girls. At first I was against it knowing full well that a few granola bars and a small bag of Cheezits would not hold them off. Before I began my protest, I stopped my self and remembered that this was an opportune time to swing in as hero when they started to complain of hunger pains. After all, it is never to early to make a push for the coveted Parent of the Year award!

With the car loaded up with three granola bars, one bag of Cheezits, two adults, and two mildly hacked off kids who had to get up early on their spring break, we put the hurry-up offense into full swing. The drive was uneventful since we decided to let AK play DJ and determine what type of music we had to endure. AK loves her music so much that she will sing along to every song as if she is the lead singer in each band. Delaney decided that she was tired and fell asleep while Pam did her very best to hold it in and not have to make a pit stop. With everyone working as a team the hurry up offense worked without fail, and the car arrived in just under two hours. A new all time Desparrois family record to Abilene!

We arrived to see BobBob finishing up his favorite TV program The Price is Right. BobBob loves to buy and sell stuff for his trade. So a show like The Price is Right is straight up his alley! He was happy to see the girls and enjoyed hearing about all their accomplishments. Nothing makes BobBob smile more than seeing family. Since the girls had not eaten a full meal we decided to venture down to the cafeteria for a quick bite and leave Pam to spend some quality time with her grandpa.

The girls decided that since it was Lent we would go for the salad bar. We loaded up our plates full of vegetable delights and chowed down. Pam and I are very lucky with how our girls love vegetables and will eat salads at anytime. After we mowed through our food, we headed back up to hangout with BobBob some more. It wasn't long after that BobBob started to nap and the girls grew restless of hanging out in a hospital room. Pam asked if I would take the girls to the zoo while she stayed back with her grandpa. We sprang out of chairs in the pure excitement of getting to head outside on a beautiful spring day.







The Abilene Zoo was packed with people, and we had to wait in line for twenty minutes just to get in the door. With having no zoo in Midland and having family in Abilene, we have been to the Abilene Zoo many times since we have had kids. Zoo's are a way of life for our family! We have enjoyed visiting zoos in all the cities that we have visited.

As we walked into the zoo each person decided on the animal they wanted to see the most. I wanted to see the alligator. They have a great display that allows you to walk over the swamp area and look down and the dinosaur like creature. The girls even reenacted what it would be like to be eaten by one!

We were upset to learn that the giraffes were off exhibit. It turns out they are remodeling their area. The jury is still out on whether or not this will be a good thing. In the past, they had a huge bridge you could walkover and feed the giraffes crackers. I, like my girls, loved this part of the Abilene Zoo. My hope is that they are building a new bridge. Only time will tell to see what takes place.

AK brought up an important point that maybe they had gotten the much sought after liger. She decided that we needed to make it our mission to find one so we could report to cousin Garrett that we deed indeed find the mysterious creature. After looking high and low, we came a cross what we originally thought to be a liger. It turned out to just be a White Bengal!

After venturing through to see the bears and the reptile house, Delaney announced she was sad. When asked why she was sad, she told me that it bothered her that that animals seemed like they were not happy! Shocked that my little baby girl was not pleased with her trip to the zoo, I struck out to make her happy anyway that I could. We marched over to the otters to see them swim. If otters swimming wouldn't make her happy, then I don't know what would. She cracked a small smile and told me that she "was a little more happy." What does that mean? I questioned her and asked what would make her totally happy? She smiled and said, "Bringing a zoo friend home from the gift shop."

Well if my baby girl wanted a zoo animal and I had a shot of going ahead in the Parent of the Year poll, then I was all in. Like any little kid, Delaney had a hard time choosing between a monkey and a bear. I told her that it was time to make a decision so we could head back and see BobBob at the hospital. Delaney knew she had me up against the ropes and looked at me with her beautiful blue eyes, batted them twice and asked the dreaded question. "Can I take both zoo friends home?" She slightly hugged both of the zoo friends encouraging the thought that she would not be able to live without either! Like a chump, I agreed to let Delaney have both, only to be called "weak" by AK as she shook her head in disgust and walked away. Since I had to save a little face, I did tell Delaney not to mention to her mother that I bought her two zoo friends and only one. Delaney agreed as we loaded up and headed back to the hospital.

On the way back I realized how thirsty we were. Nothing quenches thirst as much as a good old fashioned Slurpee. We pulled into the store got us some Slurpee's and I allowed each girl a snack to munch on. I knew that even though it was only March, I was sewing up this Parent of the Year award early.












As we arrived back the girls told BobBob of our adventures at the zoo. BobBob loves the zoo and eagerly listen and asked the girls questions about the different animals we saw. We visited for a while longer until it became time to decide what we wanted to eat for dinner. BobBob perked up with the thought of getting to eat something other than hospital food. He suggested that we go to Little Italy and put in an order of baked tortellini to go for him.

We arrived at Little Italy and decided on our menu choices. Each person ordered something different, and we soon found ourselves stuffed with a carb filled meal of noodles, sauce, and the amazing bread they make. On a scale of 1-5, I give Little Italy a solid four bread sticks. If you find yourselves wandering around Abilene in search of some Italian food, I recommend stopping in for a bite to eat.

We brought BobBob and BJ their food back to the hospital. Poor BobBob got sick to his stomach and was not hungry for the food. He was tired and not feel very well. After visiting for a while longer it was time to give our hugs and say goodbye so we could venture home. Our hope is that BobBob can find his way out of the hospital soon and get to feeling better!

We loaded up the car in hopes that girls would be exhausted from a long day and fall asleep on the road. As soon as we got into the car, Pam realized that Delaney had another zoo friend. She asked Delaney how she got two zoo friends. Delaney, being the sellout that she is told Pam that "it was Daddy's idea!" As Pam gave me the look, she also realized that I outwitted her on the day for the Parent of the Year award!

The girls were loud and restless as we drove home. Several idle threats of taking their cell phones away and several miles down the road, Pam came up with the idea of stopping to get a milkshake for the rest of the ride home. We stopped in Sweetwater which proved to be a poor choice. The Rattle Snake Roundup was in full swing and McDonald's was packed. After a half hour wait we found ourselves back on the road.

The milkshakes only wound the girls up more. We fought through the last hour of trip to find that after four and half hours in the car, one visit to the zoo, two new zoo friends for Delaney, one trip to eat at Little Italy, and lots of hugs and kisses for BobBob and BJ, we had finally made it back home safe and sound!

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Mike and Tony's Once in a Lifetime Trip to Spring Training Because our Wives are AWESOME! Day 3 & 4

Day 3 started out with Tony once again being grumpy. This proved to be a recurring theme over that last couple of days. It was strange, because every few hours he would turn into a grumpy little kid. I was having a hard time understanding the source of his grumpiness so I decided to try and put the pieces together and do a little detective work to discover the roots of the problem.

With grumpy Tony in tow, we decided to forgo the complimentary breakfast of runny fake eggs and what looked like green sausage links. Nope, today we were going to treat ourselves to a hearty breakfast to get ready for another day filled with spring baseball.

Having no idea where we were, I punched in breakfast options to my old pal Delores and she immediately took us to Ihop. We were seated quickly and I had a hard time deciding over all the menu items. I decided on an omelet with a side of flapjacks. Tony, being the hearty eater he is picked the lumber jack sized portion of the flapjacks.

The food arrived quickly and we were soon chowing down on our grub. That's when I noticed something about Tony. All of a sudden he was becoming much happier and pleasant to be around! Food eating Tony, equals happy Tony. The simple answer to the grumpy Tony equation is food. When grumpy, just insert food and all is well for the next few hours! On a scale of 1-5, we gave Ihop a 3 1/2 flapjacks!

On the way back from breakfast we needed to stop and get some supplies for the big tailgating experience later on. Tony and I have been on many of tailgating adventures in the past. In fact we made tailgating cool at the old Denver Zephyrs games back in the day. If anyone new the finer points of tailgating it was us! We had discovered that tailgating parties going on in each of the parks we visited. We knew that we wanted to partake in this adventure so we made plans to do so when we attended the Cubs game.


After a quick trip to the store we headed back to the hotel to kill a few hours and prepare our plans for the tailgate party. After showers, watching a movie and a brief flapjack induced coma by Tony it was time to venture out.

We left early to secure a prime tailgating option. We bypassed the $10 dollar close up to the stadium lot and opted for the $5 cheaper have to walk further to the stadium option. The reasoning was simple. Tailgaters in the more expensive lot are often times more sophisticated than me and my friend. They like wine served with cheese and crackers. We like cold beer served with pretzels, and meat that is cooked on a grill.

Our parking lot selection didn't disappoint as well pulled up and saw folks much like us hanging out and enjoying a good time before the game. We sat back enjoyed ourselves and reminisced about tailgates from the past. As we drank the last of what was left in our cheap Styrofoam cooler, and Tony stuffed his face with the last of the pretzels, we headed off on the long walk to Sloan Park home to the Cubs.

Sloan Park was opened last year and it quickly got a thumbs up as our favorite park to visit on the trip. It truly is a baseball gem tucked away in Mesa, Arizona. If you have the means to visit, and I hope you do. I highly suggest you make it a priority to visit and watch a game at least once in you life to experience what it's like to be surrounded by Cubs fans who believe that once again, "This is their year!"

We marched through the gates with the other 14,000 plus fans in eager anticipation of hoping to see the Cubs pull off their first victory of the the spring. While walking in we saw that Fergie Jenkins was in attendance signing autographs. I told Tony that I needed to get a picture of him. I walked by an took a quick snap so I could send it to my dad. I knew he would appreciate a shot of one of his favorites from back in the day.

While I was taking the picture Tony made a discovery that got him as excited as a kid in a candy store. His findings made me as equally excited as he presented me with an Old Style beer! I can't think of a better way of starting off a Cubs game than drinking an Old Style and hanging out with your buddy. We walked around the park and scored some prime viewing location in the shade standing up against a counter behind home plate. This location was opened up for anyone to be at. We decided to stay there the whole game the location was so nice.

The Cubs didn't play well enough to secure the win and Tony didn't get his first ever foul ball. But a great time was had by all and it was time to head back to the hotel for some rest and relaxation before dinner.

As Tony slept, I decided to call Pam and check in on her. This trip would not have been possible with out the support of our beautiful and loving wives, Pam and Lori! Pam took the girls to Lubbock where Avery Kate played in a two day volleyball tournament, and Delaney played in a two day soccer tournament. She shuffled girls around the whole weekend so I could have a fun trip with an old buddy! Tony and Lori have three little ones at home, and I know that he equally appreciated Lori letting him tag along for the fun!

For dinner we headed to a place called Oregano's. They make a Chicago style pizza that came highly recommend by my nephew and finer food connoisseur Garrett. If ever in doubt about a good hearty place to eat, just ask Garrett. The boy knows his way around a pizza. Oregano's and Garrett's recommendation didn't disappoint as the pizza and the atmosphere were spot on. As Tony said on the way out the door "Nothing like, good food, good people and good times!" On a scale of 1-5 it got a rating of 4 1/2 pizza slices!




We headed back to the hotel to get a few hours rest as we needed to be up at 4:00 in the morning to catch our early flights. The alarm came fast and we quickly got ready and headed out the door. While driving to the airport we got stopped by a train. The train was at a stand still and was not moving. Tony realizing that he might miss his flight did some quick thinking and showed some amazing driving skills to get us out of the predicament and back on schedule.

Getting through the airport was quick and easy and we found ourselves at that awkward male moment of saying good bye. Do we hug it out, shake hands, fist bump or just simply say see ya? After a quick fist bump and see a see you later Holmes and we were on our separate ways back to our own states!

After three major league games, one college game, seeing long last pal Scott, a pile of chicken wing carcasses, several malted beverages, a few nachos, one tailgating party, an incredible pizza eating experience and one hell of a good time, we declared spring training 2015 wrapped up. Next year Scott has promised to meet us again and will tag along for the game and tailgating. To make an improvement to next years trip we have invited Brett along as well. After all, this years adventure was fun, but with Brett leading the pack anything is possible!

I leave you with my last but favorite picture of the trip. It's a shot of Tony while he is telling my a tale of long ago when he took Brett deep playing Wiffle ball at old Flood stadium back in the day!

Mike and Tony’s Once in a Lifetime Trip to Spring Training Because our Wives are AWESOME! Day Two:

Day two started off with breakfast at the hotel. The morning was going to be busy as we needed to checkout of one hotel and check into another hotel. We also had to drop off a rental car. I got up early and hung out downstairs waiting for Tony.


When Tony came down he seemed a little distracted and disturbed. This was odd as we would be going to venture out and see his beloved Brewers play later on. It is a fact that Tony is the only living Brewers fan outside of Milwaukee that has never lived anywhere near Wisconsin. Think about it for a moment. Have you actually ever met a Brewer fan that didn’t come from that area?


I knew something was wrong because the night before Tony told me about his two goals for the day: One to get a free promotional Robin Yount bobble head doll for being one of the first three thousand fans walking through the gate, and two chasing his dream of getting the coveted foul ball. Yet he made no mention of his plans in the morning. As it turned out, the rental car company decided to overcharge Tony a considerable amount of funds.


After ten phone calls, and another trip back to the rental car facility, Tony was able to reclaim his pride and his money. Since we were short on time, we missed out on the commemorative Robin Yount doll. Since Tony had a rough day earlier and he missed out on getting the doll, I bought him the bomber style beer so he could cheer up. There is nothing sadder than seeing a grown man get upset after not getting a doll!


As expected the stadium was packed with Brewers fans stuffing their faces with sausages from the mid-west. Tony was excited to see them eat. His theory was simple. Stay light and be quick off the bat and he would have a good shot at out running the fans to the ball. Needless to say, Tony was disappointed in the Brewers losing to the Triple A Rangers, just as he was disappointed to not even have a foul ball come close enough to chase after.


The next item on the agenda was going to see an old friend, Scott. We have not seen Scott since our first year in college. We have actually had very little contact with Scott since the last time we saw him. Through Facebook, we were able to reconnect and plan to meet up with him later in the day. Scott picked a local sports bar for the festive reunion. When we arrived there were cops surrounding the entire place. Several questions came to mind: What kind of place was this? Why were there so many cops around, and was Scott the one being cuffed face down on the concrete? Luckily Scott was not the person being cuffed.


We listened to Scott tell his tale and the different shenanigans that has lead him through life. We haven’t seen Scott in twenty-two years and it was good to see we had not missed a beat. I enjoyed listening and telling stories of when we were younger, and the dumber things we would do without much thought or regard to consequences that might happen. Its always great to visit about the good old days! Each of us have taken our own path through life, but, it is always nice to know that through all these years we can still hang out, laugh and have a good time like we were sixteen again.


As the chicken wing pile grew higher and the beer ran out, it was time to call it a night. We had such a good time hanging out with old Scott that we lost track of time and realized that it was too late to catch the ASU game. Even though I would not be able to get my shirt from Sparky, I was happy that we got to see an old friend and have a great time. The only person we missed was Brett. Rumor has it that another Spring training trip is planned for the next year and Brett may be able to attend!

Mike and Tony’s Once in a Life Time Trip to Spring Training Because our Wives are AWESOME! Day One:

The weather was warm and Tony was in an unusually good mood. His mood could be associated with one of three things. Maybe it was the fact that he felt overwhelmed with joy that he was attending spring training with someone who could explain the finer points of the game of baseball to him. It could have been the fact that it was 80 degress outside as he just arrived from the frigid temperatures from a land I like to call the Great White North (AKA Colorado), or perhaps it was just the simple fact that he was about to embark on a journey that would take him to three Major League Baseball games and two college games. As we drove off towards our destination to catch the Arizona State Sun Devils take on Long Beach in a night cap, a little gleam was in both our eyes on the once in a lifetime journey we were about to embark upon.



With my trusty GPS system (Delores) in hand to navigate us to baseball glee, we arrived on the campus at ASU to find the baseball stadium completely empty. Tony instantly blamed Delores for her poor navigating skills while I demanded that he take it back! I would not stand for him putting Delores down. She knew where she was taking us and had never failed me in the past. I acted quickly on my feet and shut down my Iphone so poor Delores would not have to hear such blasphemy!



I blamed Tony for his lack of being able to read a schedule correctly. The argument went back and forth of who was at fault. The longer the argument, the more frustrated we were getting with the simple fact that we were not watching baseball as we had set out to do.



We decided that we would work together and see if we could figure out our conundrum that we we found ourselves in. It was a good thing for Tony, as he did not realize that he was very close to receiving a purple nurple for his attitude towards Delores!



We walked around the stadium to find a sign posted that ASU no longer played baseball at Packard Field. What? Where would they play? They already had an amazing field right in front of us? We found out they are going to tear the old gem down to make way for the football team. To me this is unbelievably sad. One of the best historic baseball programs in the nation has to make room for one of the more mediocre football programs?



I turned Delores back on as Tony apologized to her for his sudden outburst earlier. She calmly took us to Phoenix Municipal Stadium, old spring training home to the the Athletic A’s and new home to your ASU Sun Devils.



We both set out with different goals for this trip. I simply want to see as many games in the short few days that we are here. Tony wants fulfill his lifelong dream of getting a foul ball. Tony has tried at many a ball game to get the treasured piece of history with little luck. He has come close a few times, like the Zephyrs game in 1988 when the ball was in his grasp, but at the last second a little kid outran him to scoop it up!



Tony’s dream came close to happening at the game. A foul ball found its way on top of a slated roof. Two little kids laid claim to the ball, but were way too short to jump up and grab it. I tried twice and missed. Tony jumped and moved the ball but it would not fall down to his eager little hands. That’s when the usher came over with a broom stick and knocked it out and handed it to the kids. Once again Tony was denied!



The game was fun and had a great crowd. After a little research we found some interesting history on the field. The light stands were from the old Polo Grounds in New York. When they tore the old stadium down they shipped the light stands to Phoenix. Pretty cool stuff to think about.



The game was going well until the top of the seventh when Sparky, the team mascot made an appearance. They announced that Sparky would throw out free t-shirts to the fans who were being the loudest. Since I have a loud voice I knew that I would be wearing a brand new ASU t-shirt the next day. I yelled, I danced, I even told Sparky that he was the man. Sparky mocked me as he would pretend to throw me a shirt only to hand it to an old lady, or throw one to a little kid. There was only one shirt left when I realized I better pick up my game. To no avail! Sparky taunted me with the shirt as he shook it at me to simply hand it over to a pregnant lady.



As far as I was concerned Sparky cheated me out of the shirt! After all, the rules were clearly stated that he would give a shirt to whoever was loudest. I knew in my heart I had beat out the little kid, pregnant women and the old lady. Obviously this game was rigged. I gave Sparky a taste of his own medicine while I booed him and called him a hack.







With Tony having his doubters down over being so close to the foul ball, yet so far away, and me realizing that the rules of the universe were not always fair. We decided to console ourselves with a Famous Star and a Big Carl's burgers from Carl's Junior. After eating we went back to the hotel room to plan out the next day. Day two will consist of seeing an old friend, Scott, going to watch the Brewers and Rangers play, followed by another night cap at the ASU game. That’s right Sparky, I’m coming back for my shirt...

The Freemason

I am not a Freemason. In fact I do not know anything about the organization, like how they are structured or even what they do. I am; however, quite talented at creating and designing unique formations. My talent does not involve complex math calculations or the ability to use my hands to cut and design rocks into amazing designs. I have a completly different talent that most would find painful--my body has been known to produces kidney stones in mass quantities!

I have been told that having a kidney stone is much like giving birth. Since I am not a female, nor have I delivered a child, I can not say with much accuracy whether or not this true. But I am going to jump and make some assumptions of how they may be similar. For instance, both hurt a lot and make the said expectant pusher create some colorful language that might not be proper to say in public settings, and both can also take a long and painful time to deliver.

However, it is important to be fair and point out the differences. For one thing, giving birth to a child is a beautiful experience that leaves you with a wonderful bundle of joy to love and cherish. Giving birth to a jagged little rock simply leaves you in bewilderment wondering, how was that created inside me?  More importantly, it makes you worry about the damages that it caused as it tumbled and tore its way through your body until it decided to come out into the world. You are not left with a bundle of joy, but rather a unique treasure to show off to friends and family.

I have been known to pass ten to twelve stones a year. I have had small stones, big stones, stones that pass with ease, stones that take extra time, stones that put me in a fetal position and make me cry like a little girl who found out that Santa is not real (this seriously makes Pam question the man she married) as well as stones that have required three surgeries in the past sixteen years!

One can say that they have become a steady part of my life. It has not been a part of my life that I have enjoyed or would wish on even my worst enemy. Through the years, I have tried many different tricks and concoctions in the past in order to find a cure to stop production of this rock factory in my kidneys, but with little or no luck!

With that being said, I am proud to announce that for the past year I have been stone free! A year ago January, I had my last surgery to bust up a kidney stone that was the size of a penny inside me. The bad thing about having this type of surgery is that you still have to pass the little jagged joys of delight. It took me just over a month to get the last of the sandbox out of my system. Happily I passed the last stone baby a year ago and have been free of the masons holding meetings inside my kidneys ever since!

The past year has taken me into some interesting procedures and tests of day long urine samples and blood draws.The tests lead to a special diet to follow and more medicine to put in my system. The diet has taken out some of the simple joys in my life that I have to be careful not to partake in. For instance, I rarely drink anything but water and lemon juice. Okay, maybe on certain occasions, I still have an adult beverage or two. But for the most part, it is just water and lemon juice. I don’t miss soda nearly as much as I thought I would. On the very rare occasions that I do drink a fully carbonated sugary drink, I find myself feeling extremely fidgety, wired and bloated all at the same time. People that personally know me understand that I need no reason to be more fidgety or wired than I already am!  I struggle to sit still and fidget more than a toddler on a long plane ride with no toys.

I must say that I have enjoyed the last year and look forward to many more--free of the masons holding meetings inside me. I do not know if I will have another stone or not. But, I am thankful that I have not had even one, much less ten in the past year!

Here We Go!!!

Muddled (mis)Adventures

Somehow, for some strange and curious reason I decided that I would report on the first day of our family vacation to Washington DC on Facebook. It might have been the fact that I was tired and sleepless after a long day of travels on the plane and what seemed to be a marathon like walk down the national mall . I was reflecting on the crazy adventures that took place and started to chuckle to myself about the misadventures of traveling with the family.

Just like most parents, my wife Pam and I have dreams of taking our kids on some amazing journeys for family vacations. And...just like most families, our vacations never resemble our dreams. Looking back on that night I made an important discovery. The misadventure is always the best adventure! Life is so much better when you can look back and laugh and have fun.

As I typed away on my Iphone with my two fat thumbs making several spelling and grammatical errors, I had no idea how much I was going to enjoy sharing my family with the social media world. The thought that people would actually enjoy reading about my mindless experiences on who would win the Grumpiest Kid of the Day award or which parent was in the running for Parent of the Year blew my mind. One post led to another and I found myself reporting on each miscellaneous adventure my family went on.

I have been told to start a blog and write. I honestly never thought about it until several people commented on it and encouraged me to do so. I really don’t know which twists or turn it will take. But I do know that it will be fun and perhaps provide some comic relief in this crazy journey through life!